So it seems that when you drive north of here along the coast, you run into people who substitute some kind of long [a] for the syllabic [r] in word final position. And these people are up in arms about the “langostino lobster” which is starting to appear on menus, often just called “lobster” — the nerve! Senator Olympia Snowe, of my summerhome-state of Maine, is apparently “hot” about the issue (CNN’s word, not mine), and the Maine Lobster Promotion Council contends that these upstart langostinos “cost Maine fishermen $44 million in lost sales to restaurant chains since April.” I tend to think it’s global warming that’s the lobster fisherman’s real enemy, but whatever.
So much depends upon a name. It turns out that the langostino lobster is not really a lobster so much as a crab. The FDA, ever vigilant about market forces, approves “langostino” as a market name for two species: Cervimunida johni and Pleuroncodes monodon. Good thing, too, for those who would sell these insects of the sea, as the “common name” of this creature is the squat lobster. Somehow people don’t want to eat something called the squat lobster, but they’ll gobble up “langostino” lobster. At some point you must have tried the trendy Chilean Sea Bass, but probably only after its redesignation as such. Would you have ordered it back when it was called Patagonian toothfish? Or perhaps you fancy a plate of blackened wartynosed mullet? This last one is an actual type of fish recognized by the FDA’s list of market names for seafood. Is there any question why this fish hasn’t made it to the lofty heights of episode ingredient on Iron Chef?
To sum up, here’s the langostino lobster:
and here’s a real lobster:
As for me, I prefer crab.